What do you do with regret?

What about in our immediate relationships, when we do or say something and it’s followed by regret. What is the regret? Most of the time it’s a fear-based inner thought or regret that prompts the doing or the saying of something so that suffering will be minimized. Not necessarily the suffering of the other, but our own suffering. Suffering, in that the act will be pointed out and we may have to relive the regretted moment, and look at the one that we caused pain to. This may include tears and words to come from the other, and we do not want to experience it, or at least to minimize the possible outcome, so we’ll do all sorts of things. The point being, that we fear our own suffering because of the thought that we projected outward into an action. We fear our own suffering. We are unwilling to take the consequence of our actions entirely. So, we will attempt to manipulate the truth. We lie, we insert logic and reason, we will purposely leave out key points, and this often is followed by the doing of something for the other that we otherwise really wouldn’t do, or haven’t ever done, or only do in situations like this. Perhaps we will buy flowers, or take them out to their favorite place, cook them their favorite meal, a candlelit dinner, trying all the while to win their favor in hopes that we will not have to reveal the truth. We have regret, we have guilt.

All these things that we are doing, we do in hopes of lessening the blow of the lingering truth. This truth is one of which only we know. Now, let me take you a little deeper for a moment. Because, at that point we even feel that we have an advantage, because only we know and we regret. We regret because it’s causing us pain. Do you follow what I’m saying to you?

If you’ll pay attention and notice I have not stated remorse here. For to speak of remorse, we would paint the picture of this scenario quite differently. Remorse itself would lend to the truth straight away, pay the piper. Then perhaps some, or one of the above acts, or attempting to act properly, attempting to soften, may be applied, providing it were not a part of a ploy.



One comment on “What do you do with regret?

  1. I enjoyed reading your post. I have never felt that regret was anything but a waste of time and energy. If we try each moment to do the best we can, then we succeeded in that moment.

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